Why Seoul? From a Korean American

As I slip on my heavy padded coat and head outside wearing a KF-94 mask, I am just simply, a typical person here. I do not have to tuck away my Korean culture and mannerisms to fit another, but rather, I get to embrace it. Is this what it’s like? I’ve wondered what this feeling would be like for as long as I can remember - a common thought in many minorities and children of immigrants. As I get older, I worry about losing touch with my heritage, forgetting the Korean language, and becoming blind to my bicultural identity. In the white suburbs, it’s too easy. 

So in the midst of the seemingly-never ending pandemic, I booked my first solo trip - a 14 hour flight out of JFK International Airport, headed towards the other side of the world.

A conversation I’ve had often here while meeting new people was: “What drew you to Korea?” Many peers mentioned the excitement of living in a country with completely different customs, or an interest in the pop culture. It amazes me to see non-Koreans smoothly navigating the unfamiliarities of life here. And while my answer partly aligns, I find that my motivation was a bit more nuanced.

As I prepared for a semester in the country my parents emigrated out of, I felt that it was ironic that I was eager to go back, when my family worked so hard to create a comfortable life in America. Though it’s not out of a lack of appreciation for them, it would be a lie to say that I’ve never wondered what would have been. What if I were born and raised here? What would life be like?

My previous study abroad advisor at my home university told me that, in his experience, he’s seen students that were of Korean immigrant parents study abroad in Korea most often. And this knowledge came to me at no surprise, though I couldn’t quite place why that was true. Is it the booming pop culture? Is it the increasing relevance in politics and news? Is it rooted in enduring Korean patriotism? Perhaps all - at least it is for me.

As I navigate Seoul’s bustling neighborhoods and expand my knowledge of Korean culture, I hope to get a glimpse of what it would be like to live here. Granted, it will probably be a very limited view, as I have the privilege of being allowed to discount long-term societal issues amidst my temporary residency. But I hope to see the highs and lows of a life I’ve always wanted to live, and to catch up on all the years I’ve missed with extended family.

In America, I’m viewed as “too Korean”. In Korea, I’m seen as “too American”. But for now, I’m learning how I can live as both and equally cherish each identity.