Reflection Of Self

Authored by:
Judy C.

I was lost, but now I’m found
I’m lost again. Which way do I go?
I am alone again. Who will I find?
I am alone! How do I find myself?
There! There! There you are!
Wait! Is that me? No, that’s just my reflection.
But wait! Is that what I project unto others?
That’s not me!
Or is it?
Do I reflect my emptiness? My loneliness? My insecurities?
Do my eyes give me away? The eyes. Wait! The eyes? Yes!
They are the windows to our soul!
Do I have a soul even when I’m empty inside?
Quick! Close your eyes!
Quick! Open your eyes!
Where am I?
Africa, is that you?
The beauty, the culture, the love. You completed me.
The crime, the hate, the division!
Wait! How did you complete me?
We all have imperfections.
We all have beauty.
I was looking through the wrong lenses.
I thought I was blind.
My eyes have always been open.
I was just looking at the wrong things.
I was looking at my crimes, my insecurities, my hate.
One individual divided into so many.
How can so much love be possible with nothing.
So much hate.
Hate of self.
Yes! Yes! That’s it!!!!
I can love myself.
Those hateful moments.
Those secret unimaginable moments.
Can I?
Who can love me if I don’t love myself?
I’m a shell.
I’m broken.
Wait! My outer shell is broken.
But my inner self has healed.
Africa has crime, hate and division.
But she is beautiful!!!!
Yes! That’s it!
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
I learned that beauty is what I define.
Yes! I am beautiful!
I matter!!!
I am important!!!

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