Introversion, Homesickness, and High Expectations

    I wouldn’t consider myself a writer, but recently I’ve felt more called to it, and have received a lot of encouragement from family and friends, so I want to document this experience to look back on it. You can probably tell by the title, but I am an introvert, and I will scream that from the mountain tops. Coming to Cape Town is very much out of my comfort zone, as it feels like I am just now digging my heels into creating a life for myself in Los Angeles, and have never traveled internationally before, let alone alone. Like my bio says, I only have eight weeks here, which seems like a lifetime (to me) but it’s actually not much time when we’re in internship for four out of seven days a week, 8am to 4pm. I’ve been here just a little over a week, and it feels like I haven’t done anything as far as exploring and engaging in tourist activities. As someone who loves staying home and enjoys the familiarity and comfort of being with close friends, it has been extremely difficult to 1) actually want to go out and explore a ton for multiple days in a row, 2) actively introduce myself to locals and even other students that are in the program, and 3) not compare what I’m doing to others around me. Being someone who consistently needs time to themselves has caused me a lot of frustration, on top of the fact that I maintain very high expectations for myself as far as putting myself out there and getting the most out of experiences. I knew that when I came to South Africa that I didn’t have any expectations of what I would be doing in my internship and within the city, but what I didn’t pay much attention to was the fact that I hold myself to very high standards and become disappointed when I don’t meet these imaginary ideals for myself. This can be a good and a bad thing, but I don’t want it to get in the way of fully enjoying everything Cape Town has to offer. I’ve also been a little homesick, and am also trying to combat that along with all of the other things that are going on. 

    I say all of this to say that it’s okay to be an introvert and feel overstimulated with everyone’s knowledge and excitement and energy to "get out there." Slowly, and at your own pace, you’ll adapt and feel more confident in that you made the right decision to venture out and do something you wouldn’t normally do. I’m still learning that (obviously), but study abroad is about the lessons you learn. At least that’s how I see it. 

Keep what keeps you grounded, close, but also remain open to new ideas, new people, new adaptations. 

Have a beautiful rest of your week!