Dating Life In Seoul

Authored by:
Patricia G.

Patricia G.

Dating?!!


I know, I know, I'm here for educational purposes! BUT, I wanted to see what the Kdrama love life is like (don't judge me). 


To start,

When I first arrived in Seoul at the Incheon Airport, every guy I encountered was super sweet. Even when I felt like an idiot exchanging money because ₩ was new to me, the gentleman at the airport assured me that it was okay and he got me. Fast forward to having to wait almost an hour on a bus, at the hotel to quarantine. I had to use the bathroom and it was raining, one of the gentlemen working escorted me himself with an umbrella. All I'm saying is that they do have manners here.

During my stay here I've gone on four dates. With four different people, through Tinder and Bumble. Tinder is a hot mess for foreigners, but let me tell you about my dates first. My minimum requirements for guys were simple. 1)Taller than me, 2) tattoo(s), and 3) cute. That's it.

My first date was just chill and nice. He spoke perfect English even though he never stepped foot out of Korea. He was super sweet and made really good music, I was shook. I didn't understand the words, but you know the flows and the beats sounded nice ^^. He checked all three requirements, but we couldn't hang out much because the man works 6 days a week.

My second date was what I thought was alright. His English was limited so he used a translator for some of the words he didn't know, it wasn't that bad. We talked about anime, food, places we visited, etc. We went to a lounge then we went to a place to grab dinner. It was nice at least from what I thought. He ghosted me the next day. I wasn't offended because I've already read about how bad the ghosting culture is in Seoul. There are a million fish in Seoul. He checked all three, but he was only an inch taller than me.

My third date was super nice! We met at the Han River, had chicken for lunch, and then just talked the entire night. He asked about stereotypes about black people. I was happy to inform him of what was really real. No, not all black people are good at every sport. Yes, some black people can swim. The most bizarre stereotype I heard was that some Korean believe black people can communicate with monkeys. Was I offended? No, he really was asking from a curious standpoint. I've also taken cultural anthropology, so I may be a little lenient when trying to understand cultures. Besides that, the date went really nice and he dropped me off back to my dorms and was telling me how pretty I looked the entire way.

My fourth date was by far my favorite date out of all of them. We went to the Coex Mall. I think because I was black he thought I would want something close to soul food. I mean yeah, I did want some macaroni and cornbread, so I wasn't offended. After that we went to the aquarium, it was so nice. He wasn't the average Korean guy at all! I don't know how to properly explain it. But I can say that he isn't conservative like most Koreans here. After the aquarium, we had such a good time that we didn't want to leave each other and he took me to the most amazing place! We drove up to a mountain behind the Gyeongbokgung Palace and the view was amazing! I saw all of modern Seoul on one side of the mountain, and the traditional on the other side. He even gave me a little history lesson the how Seoul progressed in the last 50 years from a poor country to what they are now. 

Tinder/Bumble 

Tinder is a wild game to play with if you're a foreigner. They are so forward! I've had instances where someone messaged me saying "I like your boobies", or "you have a nice body", and "섹스 (sex)". It's almost as if they didn't even look at me as a human, just as a sexual object. They have terms for white and black girls. White horse and a black horse. That term is used to define women as experiences, not as humans. Honestly, my advice is if you want to meet a genuine guy it's easier in person, because from my research if you meet them online you are just a sexual object. Not saying all, of course, I got lucky my fourth date was from Tinder, but keep in mind he goes to school in London so his mind has been opened. Also not saying that in person's that much easier, because I've heard from a friend (she's black) a conversation can go as such: 

Him; Hey you're pretty
Them: Thank you
Him: Where are you from/
They: America
Him: Oh you like rap?
They: uh... I guess.
Him: You want to have sex?
They: **Walks away**

Bumble is more friendly I would say. The first date guy, he's a genuine soul and we became more of friends than an actual relationship. Also, my other friends say they've had the same experience as well. To be quite honest, there were more attractive guys on Tinder than on Bumble. Choose your poison. After a while, I deleted Tinder and Bumble, because I was fed up with being disgusted at how a lot of men on Tinder viewed me. The guy friends I met here even told me, they wouldn't speak to a Korean woman as such.

 

I'm not saying it is impossible to find you a Korean man, but it's hard because they know you're going to only be here for a limited time and they just want an experience. So yeah, this was my dating experience.

 

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