Trying to break up with consumerism

Two years ago, my family and I were cleaning out my grandparents’ house. They had moved to an assisted living home and we were preparing the house to be sold. The amount of stuff they had accumulated was alarming to say the least, but I told myself that it must've made sense for a few reasons. They had been alive during the Great Depression so they had adopted a scarcity mindset, resulting in a lack of ability to give anything away. This was also their home for over 50 years, so they never had to move it all and therefore take inventory of everything they owned. This experience really got me thinking about how much stuff I own, and it made me acutely aware of the fact that I am very much complicit in the issue of consumerism. 

Since then, I have made a conscious effort everyday to consume less. The main reasons are so that I don’t leave anyone with a bunch of crap that I never needed in the first place, and the second reason is because so much of what we buy is financially wasteful. In America, I found this goal to be challenging because it's so normalized to always be buying new stuff, whether it’s clothes you’ll only wear once or your 24th pair of shoes or 11th water bottle. The good news is that moving to Spain has helped tremendously with my goal to buy less stuff, and I’m hopeful that this mindset will travel with me wherever I go.

Below are some of the reasons why I believe it’s been easier to avoid consumerism here than it was at home:

First and foremost, I told myself I wouldn’t order from Amazon while living in Europe. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m extremely guilty of buying so much stuff from Amazon: toiletries, socks, toilet paper, sunglasses, phone cases, you name it. Although some people might see Amazon’s convenience as a good thing because yes, sometimes convenience is really important, I think there’s a really negative side to it too. It’s not exactly normal to be able to buy $200 worth of stuff without even standing up or taking your credit card out of your wallet. At home, there were many times I’d get a package on my door step and not even be able to remember what I ordered in the first place. 

I've also been trying to keep in mind that we all came here with one or two suitcases, so there’s a physical limit to how much we can bring home. This also means we each brought a certain amount of clothes, so we’re rewearing a lot of the same outfits. See, this is normal (or at least it used to be) - of course you should wear outfits multiple times! But our generation - myself included - has been slightly brainwashed into thinking that it’s somehow a negative thing to wear a shirt that you love multiple times. I know that I’m guilty of falling for this notion, even though the truth is that if you have a wardrobe made up of quality clothes, you don’t need to always be buying new pieces. This isn’t to say we don’t need clothes because of course we do, but I have definitely been guilty of buying way more than I actually need.

The third reason I’ve felt less inclined to buy in excess is because of something I've been practicing daily: delayed gratification. In today’s world, we’re so used to getting what we want instantly: takeout can be delivered in an hour, dating apps provide us with fake validation, every song in the world is accessible at all times, the list goes on. To challenge this, I’ve adopted a new habit of taking photos of things (I think) I really want and adding them to an album in my camera roll. If I still want it a week or two later, I can feel good about buying it. What this has taught me though is that more often than not, I end up deciding I don’t want it that bad. Sometimes we just see things and want them immediately, but that feeling goes away when you give it space and time. It's more fun when you have a purchase to look forward, rather than always acting on your impulses.

The fourth reason is a question I ask myself often: what really brings you joy? Money is a tool that can bring a lot of happiness into our lives, but is it the things you’re buying that make you happy or is it the people you’re surrounded by? Sometimes I find myself wanting to buy stuff I don’t need and it makes me wonder if I’m trying to fill a void in some way. I’ve tried to replace that feeling of wanting to consume with the desire to create - whether that be spending time on projects I’m passionate about, calling loved ones, playing cards in the park, or going for a long walk. These activities remind me that the point of life is not to end up with the most material goods, but to connect with others and fill our lives with experiences that bring us alive. 

When it comes time for someone to sort through my belongings at the end of my life, one of my many hopes is that they don't look at the majority of it and think, "Did she really need this?" Perhaps it's inevitable, since it's impossible to fully understand the meaning of other peoples' possessions. But I hope I remain intentional, and I hope the non-materialistic ways I spent my time and money are felt and remembered more than any magnet on the fridge.