Making Lists and Letting Go

Moment of truth: I like lists. A lot.

I like to make to-do lists (for work, for my personal life), I like making packing lists, I like making pro/con lists. More specifically, I like checking things off of my list. I like the feeling of accomplishment and knowing a task has been completed and completed well.

So, when I returned to Maryland, after moving away from Buffalo, I made a list of things that I wanted and needed to do. Some of it was wrapping up loose ends from things I hoped to accomplish in Buffalo, other things included personal goals of completing things (like making a t-shirt quilt, creating Jesse tree ornaments to take with me to Spain to celebrate Advent away from home, writing a blog post), some where a list of necessities (figure out phone situation, deal with car everything, etc) while other things involved visiting with friends and family. As I planned everything out in my head it was perfect - I would complete all my tasks, visit with both family and friends, and spend the rest of the time relaxing and packing. Sounds great, right?

Fast forward to now. I’m currently at the airport in Madrid, sitting down to write the blog post that I’ve been meaning to write for the past week, with various bits and parts of a t-shirt quilt sitting in a plastic bin in storage back in Maryland (waiting for another time in which to be completed), working on a device that was picked up literally less than 12 hours before I left the house.

If I had to use a word to describe how the last two weeks have been, I certainly would not choose “relaxed” or “restful” but, despite that (or maybe because of that), I would have to say that the past two weeks have been blessed.

I had to just let go of some of the things I felt I "needed" to do and trust that it would be okay, that things would work out. Then, because I was able to do that, I was able to spend precious time with family members and had the chance to see and talk to dear friends.

And, in the end, I have been helped by a number of people who have gone out of their way to make sure that I had the supplies that I will need (and even some things that will just be nice to have), and I have had the opportunity to stop stressing and just trust that everything will work out when it is meant to.

Thanks to the emails of information that we have received through the CIEE pre-departure communications and the online discussions and everything, I feel as though I am prepared with all the paperwork, materials and clothes that I will need; I’ve begun looking at apartments in the area I hope to live and I know what cellular plan I’d like to get.

While not everything I hoped would be done at this point is done, I am in a good place. I am loved, I am safe, and I am excited for the days and months to come.

Our small group of early arrivers is growing, so I am going to sign off for now. ¡Hasta pronto!

-Stephanie
(Psalm 23)