Home is...

Home is where you can be yourself.

Home is where you find yourself when there’s no place you’d rather be.

Home is where you yell loudly, cry sometimes and laugh often.

Home is where your heart is...

Many people have varying definitions of what “home” actually is.  It’s a place; it’s a feeling; it’s something indescribable... No matter where you live, I think that sometimes you find that concept of “home” exists in more than one geographical location.  And, because of that, I don’t know if I could pick a single location and define that, singularly, as “home” anymore.  

For me home is in Maryland where my niece just turned 3 years old and one of my closest friends is expecting a baby of her own; meanwhile, home is in Buffalo where a friend was just laid to rest after losing her battle with cancer and a group of young adults that I have watched grow up the past seven year just attended a Confirmation retreat; and, at the same time, home is where two little boys are bickering (in Spanish) over Pokémon cards and pumpkins.

You might be sitting down, reading this, and asking yourself what in the world would make someone spend this much time thinking about one simple four-letter word?  

If it makes you feel any better, honestly, I didn’t expect to write this blog... I had a completely different idea when I began typing.  But somehow this is where I have ended up and I’m just going to go with it.

I guess you can say that I began (seriously) thinking about the deeper meaning of home a little over a month ago - maybe even before that if I really think about it but, in regards to this specific train of thought, I’ll say it began around the time of orientation.

As all of the auxiliars in the (second) CIEE orientation arrived on (or around) September 18th and began to (semi-frantically) search for housing, I also took a deep breath and said some prayers as I began researching where I wanted to live and how to make that all happen.  

For me - the planner - to not know where I was going to live was a big deal.  Every time someone in the States talked to me (prior to my departure), I heard the question “Where are you going to be living?”  I would laugh (nervously) as I said “I’m not sure” (or some variation of that sentiment).  But, with many other things to think about, I would not even have time to begin to worry until after my arrival in Madrid.  I knew that we had 9 days of housing in the hotel before I had to have some other living situation arranged (or until I moved out onto the street) and I was blissfully unaware of how much of a challenge apartment-hunting would prove to be for many auxiliars. 

I can’t say that I really spent a lot of (or any) time stressing about where to live because I knew that I was looking to live outside of the center of the city, closer to where I would be teaching.  This made me fairly confident that I’d find a place to live without as many complications as others hoping to live closer to the center-city excitement.  It also helped that I was willing to be flexible - I wasn’t completely set on any one situation.  This was what allowed me to find the awesome living situation that I am now in - living as an au pair for a family with 2 boys (Saúl and Alejandro) who are 9 and 7, respectively.

I won’t lie, I was a little nervous when I first spoke to Raquel (the mother and, coincidentally, a teacher at the school I am at) - worrying about what it would be like for me living with a family (her family) and what that would mean in terms of having my own freedom.  But talking with Raquel and her husband and spending time with the boys quickly put me at ease.

I happily moved in the day before school started and have not regretted my decision one bit!

I know several other individuals who have mixed reactions and experiences regarding living with a family.  For me, the situation that I am in is everything I could have ever hoped and prayed for.  

I have my food and housing (including all the extras of utilities, wi-fi, etc) covered in exchange for spending 2-3 hours (Monday-Friday) talking, playing, and helping the boys with their English.  I eat my meals with the family (breakfast and dinner I eat with everyone, while Raquel and I share lunch together after school while the boys are at school and Sergio is at work) and share in conversations about what’s going on with everyone at school or work and just enjoy the day-to-day chit-chat.  I’ve had the opportunity to join the family on outings to the park and family parties at the house.  I have also taken time to go off and out on my own instead.  

As Raquel and I were talking one day we noted that it’s important for there to be a “give and take” for everyone involved.  I’m not just someone coming to be part of their lives for a very specific/set 2-3 hour period each day; as an au pair, I have been welcomed into the hearts and home of this family and I am loving the chance to allow them into my heart as well!

Well, there you go... there’s a little glimpse of the logistical and emotional path that I have taken to get where I am.  Maybe some other time I will try to share a little more details of what I do and what life is like?  

But, if you have a family - it’s kinda like that.  :)  So, goodnight from Rivas... 

¡Que duermas bien!

-Stephanie
(Ps. 91:1-13)

A view of the sun setting over the neighborhood...