December: the Gift of Seeing What Really Matters

December was the month my difficulties began to die down. It started off with a vacation to Berlin and Cologne, Germany. I felt that beautiful experiences like this were possible in my reality, and I was amazed when I got there. The Christmas markets were so warm and enchanting, and my heart felt filled to the brim with Christmas cheer that I hadn't felt since I was fifteen. It was the month where after months of stress about my paperwork and my legal status, I finally got to pick up my TIE. I continued to work on MOOC. I went on day trips over the month to Toledo, Alcala de Henares, and Avila, and saw the beautiful Christmas lights, Christmas markets, the birth place of Miguel Cervantes, and the murallas de Avila. I bonded more closely than ever with the friends I remained in Spain with, and we spent the holidays together. The two week break gave me plenty of time to decompress, and I had a huge creative and spiritual breakthrough during this time. My friend and I finally got to enjoy Madrid at our own pace, and go inside Palacio Real and go rowing in Retiro for the first time. 

At one of my schools, I got a new adult administrative class, which was very exciting for me. I had the opportunity to introduce myself again like I did when I first started at my schools, but this time I had it more down to a science. I understood it was better to intersperse conversation throughout the presentation and encourage the students to ask questions throughout. We also talked a lot more about Chicago, and showed plenty of pictures. The class spent a long time telling me about their native countries, what to do there, and things to do in Madrid that I might not know about. Of course, I also covered Christmas and New Years. This was initially a challenge for me, as I did not know how much I should relate the holiday to my personal experiences. I also did not know if I should go for a broad Christmas lesson, or speak more locally about Christmas in Chicago (I ended up doing this more towards the end, particularly at one of my schools, per request). There were also problems with the school internet, so I couldn't play certain videos or songs, although I was not lacking for materials. I think the students were also as ready to leave for break as I was, as not every class wanted to participate and share about their customs. Still, it was a cheerful time, and I had a much needed break coming up on the horizon. I also got invited to a Talent show at one of the schools, on the very last day of break. I hadn't been to one since high school! It was so much fun to see the different talents of the different students at the school, particularly the ones I recognized from my own class. I had no idea that some of my students could sing and dance and even rap! It let me see a little bit more into who they were, and what kinds of things lit them up. 

December, above all, was a month where I finally saw who and what really matters to me in my life. I had a dream right before Christmas that I was at my parents home, and I remember feeling very confused as I thought I had chosen to stay in Madrid. Then I awoke in my studio, and felt confused once more. But at no point did I feel left out of the festivities, thanks to my friends and those around me. I told my good friend at our Christmas potluck that we were a bit like the "island of misfit toys," like in the movie "Rudolph." It was a bizarre and strange Christmas, some of us strangers to one another and meeting for the first time. All of us were an unexpected group of people. Still, we made it a time of merriment and fun. Madrid opened its wonders to me, once I no longer struggled to find housing or secure my paperwork. I started writing more than ever before. I caught up with friends and family at home. It was a time where I finally had the time, space, and reflection, to truly cherish the people and the things in my life. Of course if you can, you should take advantage of the break to explore different countries. In my case though, I wouldn't change a single thing.