Confessions of a Modern Day Auxiliar: Pre-Flight Edition

My flight is booked, my visa has arrived, and my hair is newly cut and colored. So why does my suitcase lie empty on the floor? I leave in less than two weeks and packing seems a daunting task amidst the slew of other thoughts and questions running rampant through my head. I don’t mind saying it: there is a lot of unknown surrounding this next adventure. I guess packing solidifies the fact that I am going to Spain. The anticipation that has been building for the past six months is finally coming to a close and I am facing reality. So while I procrastinate packing yet another day, I offer to you my inner thoughts on this pre-flight experience. Cue Usher because these are my confessions:

I am looking forward to starting a new adventure, making brand new friends, and exploring a new city.

I am not looking forward to starting a completely new life, making brand new friends, or learning a new city. 

I truly don’t know how many jars of peanut butter and boxes of mac and cheese I should bring. I don’t eat either that often, but I know that when they are hard to get I will likely start craving them.

I honestly have no idea what I was thinking when I decided to move abroad.

I hope other countries will not hate me for being American.

I have no idea if 1000 euros is enough to live on or not.

I hope the mass amount of country music I listen to is not frowned upon in Madrid.

The idea of showing up at the Madrid airport with my suitcase and backpack, barely speaking the language, is both thrilling and absolutely terrifying.

I am somewhat disappointed that I may not be able to travel because of Covid.

I wonder if I’ll meet a nice British boy...man.

As long as every Spanish conversation I have revolves around Harry Potter, I should be good.

Scratch that, Harry Potter y la piedra filosofal only, please.

    My flight is in 12 days, 11 hours, and 51 minutes (ish). One day soon I will look back and see that all these thoughts have answers. I will find that Madrid will be whatever I make of it and that I will be ok. I will thrive, as long as I don’t let my fears get in the way. While I wait for these last two weeks to blur by, I best go pick up some jars of peanut butter and boxes of mac and cheese. And I guess I should open that Libby app and get started on Harry Potter y la cámara secreta. I don’t want to run out of things to talk about.