Caught in the Middle

Authored By:

Brittani C.

I hope everyone has had a great start to their weekend! I'm writing this post in my favorite café next to my apartment, mainly to mooch off of their WiFi because we're having trouble getting our own network installed (that's a whole other story). I've been struggling these past few weeks with what I thought was a cold, but after a visit to the doctor, I was told that I had an acute sinus infection. Two days of missing work and lots of medication later, I'm on the mend and hope to be at 100% by Monday. 

Last weekend I was having lunch with my roommate at a nearby pizza place, when I happened to look out the window and see a tree with both brown and green leaves. While to some this may have been nothing extraordinary, for whatever reason it resonated with me. I looked at it, and my thoughts began to race. I felt like a true poet sitting in a café, letting her surroundings inspire her.

The tree: struggling to change in the middle of two seasons. Still longing to enjoy the heat of the Summer with its bright green leaves, but slowly converting to the rustic hue of Fall. I guess I was drawn to this particular piece of foliage because it was telling of how I was feeling. My life in the United States, my schooling, and everything familiar to me is present in the vibrant green. The rich colors of Autumn represent my life in Spain: my new career that I love so much, my changing interests, the start of adulthood. 

I am so thankful that letting go of my life in the States has been difficult, because that means it made a large impact on who I am as a person. My life in Spain has proven to be radically different, but fulfilling at the same time. Every day I spend here I see what I thought was concrete for my future being wrecked before my eyes, and the control freak in me is panicking. I have to remind myself that I am caught in the middle, I am in a transitional period, and that's okay. There's beauty and joy in the middle, it's about finding it and appreciating it even when life gets a little unpredictable.