What is Culture Shock? A Guide to Help Your Exchange Students Get Comfortable in the U.S.
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Flying many hours on a plane. Getting in a car with people they just met. Moving into an unfamiliar house in an equally unfamiliar area.
It would be a lot for anyone to take in, but especially for high school exchange students – children who've taken a leap of faith into experiencing the United States through you and your family’s eyes.
It’s called culture shock. And it happens to many travelers new to a region.
According to the Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs, culture shock can be described as having feelings dependent on factors like time spent studying abroad, the differences between home and host culture, prior experience abroad, and their expectations of the experience.
As a host parent, you’ve accepted responsibility for this student and their well-being. Just as you might supply aspirin to calm down their headaches, host families should consider supporting exchange students in a variety of ways.
Why Recognizing Culture Shock Matters
Also more recently referred to as acculturative stress, culture shock is a valid group of symptoms a person may experience in their new environment.
By acknowledging both the highs and the lows of the feelings behind adjusting to a new culture, it shows that you’re taking them seriously and that you’re there for them. (On top of that, remember that they’re teenagers. They’re already working through confusing emotions!) This is crucial in those initial days when you’re trying to build a trusting relationship.
The Four Stages of Culture Shock
Shock can show up in surprising ways. And it’s not always intense or easy to spot. Sometimes, it's more like feeling unexpectedly happy, a little down, or a mix of emotions. Understanding these reactions can help you better grasp how people deal with events that overwhelm them.
Learn more about the four culture shock stages you may see in your exchange students.
1. The Honeymoon Phase
The first stage is when they’re excited by their new surroundings. Everything feels new, and the differences between their home culture and the host culture are seen as stimulating and refreshing.
When you’re at the airport, you’re excited to finally meet the student you’ve been video-calling for months. And your student sees you and your family running over to you at the baggage carousel, opening their arms for a group hug.
It’s better than you imagined.
You’re introducing each other to language differences and favorite dishes, and you even wonder why you didn’t decide to host a student sooner.
2. The Frustration and Negotiation Phase
As the novelty wears off, your student may start noticing more differences and experiencing difficulties adapting to your culture. Language barriers, unfamiliar customs, and homesickness can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, and anxiety during this stage of culture shock.
They may struggle to get English words out of their mouth as their brain searches for a translation. Or they don’t understand why the family is laughing at their favorite sitcom at night, when they’ve yet to hear anything funny being said.
When you’re beginning to notice that your teenager is feeling like a fish out of water, remember this: They don’t even understand what being a fish out of water means, because it’s not a phrase said in their home country.
Choose your words carefully. Open up everyday activities to questions and be happy to share answers. Engage them in conversation about their routines back home.
3. The Adjustment Phase
Over time, your high school student may begin to develop a better understanding of your home life and culture, accept the differences, and adapt to their new environment. They’ll establish schedules, build relationships, and regain a sense of balance in their lives.
Because you’ve put in the work to get to know your teenager and who they are as a person back home, you’ve invited your student to reciprocate.
Watch that TV show with typical American humor, giving the student control of the remote to pause and ask questions. Invite them to help with dinner and see how they prefer it prepared. Bring them to the mall to introduce them to local fashion.
By showing your exchange students what’s involved in your world, you open the doors for them to enter it and truly become a part of your home.
4. The Adaptation Phase
In the final phase, the students will embrace the host culture and feel comfortable with their new bicultural identity. They're learning how to navigate both their home culture and your host culture, appreciating the unique aspects of each.
Once they’ve adapted to what’s expected of them at home and at school – as well as the fun of being a teenager in another country – you can begin to breathe a sigh of relief. They now understand the school bus pickup and drop-off times. They know how important homework is and jump into it when they get home. They begin building friendships and commit to teams and clubs.
You’re sure to still hit speedbumps along the way – just as you might parenting your own children if you have them – but host families that prepare for the emotions set themselves up for more success.
Host Family Tips for Supporting Your Exchange Student
Whether it’s your first time or your 10th time hosting, tried-and-true tips are always appreciated. Here are a few:
- Keep routines. Your student needs time adjusting to a new culture. By having a schedule that the family follows, it gives them more confidence to get through the day.
- Encourage small wins. Did they just figure out how to use the dishwasher? Did they braid their hair the way the others on the team do? Be happy for them!
- Celebrate cultural exchange moments. Did you think soccer was boring? Watching it through the eyes of your teenager – cheering on their favorite team – may become a new family tradition, even long after your student has traveled back home.
- Listen without judgment. Your student needs to be heard, and you need the patience to understand their language struggles and their overall concerns. Supporting exchange students without bias shows them you’re there when they need you.
Ready to help your exchange students make a smoother transition? Download our resource Navigating Culture Shock Together: A Conversation and Activity Guide for Host Families and Exchange Students