Makeup and Memories

Today I spent four hours sorting makeup. Why?

1. I truly do have more makeup than anyone needs

2. As I swiped on a new lip shade or opened another eyeshadow palette, memories of when I wore it last started flooding back

There was the poppy red lipstick I wore to my first high school dance, the waterproof mascara I relied on the week all of my friends left for college, the eyebrow pencil that saved me when I over-plucked one time, the only concealer strong enough to hide the black eye I got from running into a door because I was so excited to see my best friend. I don’t leave my house everyday looking like a doll by any means, but I follow my (and probably everyone else’s) grandmother’s philosophy: Always leave the house with your face on because you never know who you’ll meet. There are days when putting my face on means spending an hour planning, priming, covering, countouring, etc, etc. There are also days when it means only swiping on some chapstick and pinching my cheeks. I like to be prepared for either situation, so I began to pack it all up thinking I would need every last lipgloss and foundation I owned. At first I packed more tubes of mascara than I had shirts. Realizing this was going to put my luggage over the 50lb weight limit, I began to take things out, leave them in my drawer, throw them away. I was only bringing that poppy red lipstick because I laugh when I think about awkwardly slow dancing with a boy I barely knew and I’ve learned to watch out for doors while running, so I won’t be needing that gorilla strength concealer.

    Little sophmore me: 

    The black eye in all its glory:

I’m holding onto the memories, but not the physical evidence. This is how most of my packing has been. I have spent more time trying my clothes on and thinking about the past than putting them in bags for the future. It’s hard to leave behind what feels comfortable and right. I have been anxiously waiting to leave my home for months, but now I feel like I am trying to hold onto time I don’t have. So, I will pack up my favorite clothes and I will bundle my most essential makeup brushes and accept the fact that no matter how much time I have or what I bring, it’s the memories that I’m bringing with me that mean the most. Besides, if I ever find myself in need of a new poppy red lipstick, I know I’ll find the perfect one in Paris.