The Goldilocks of Taking In Your Surroundings

Hi guys and welcome back!

Everyday is a new opportunity that presents a chance for positive changes and opportunities.

I have a habit of overthinking every thing and missing whats happening around me. I finally acknowledged this as true when two times in one day I completely missed important conversations. First I missed an important lesson in class while thinking about one quote from the beginning of the presentation, and second I missed a whole conversation about my sports opportunities here because I was thinking about what a Spanish gymnastics coach would think of me. In fact, I think it’s pretty common to do this, When you hear or go through something that overwhelms you it’s human nature to sit and go through it over and over and over again. However, when you are on a study abroad program chances are every other phrase and each new street corner will present you with a new overwhelming thought. It’s best to accept that you have ABSOLUTELY NO idea what just happened and focus on whatever happens next. 

My adventures in trying to take in my surroundings:

First I Didn’t Want To Take In Anything: After my first week of school I had a sinking realization that as tired as the week had made me I had to do the exact something about 30 more times. I felt incredibly trapped and had someone asked what I wanted most I would have grabbed my backpack, passport, and gotten on the next flight back right into the welcoming arms of my parents and friends. I had lost the feeling of curiosity and fell into the mind set that I didn’t need to learn anything else. The things I new best (english, a slightly messy bedroom, and eating dinner before 11) were good enough for me. After some much needed sleep and little of good old High School Musical I was back to my adventurous self. 

Then I Mistakenly Believed I Had To Take In Everything: After my second week I encountered quite the opposite problem. I became overly obsessed with scheduling and planing every detail of my life and became so focused on planning I missed what was actually going on. (two great examples of my predicament provided above) At first I was happy that I was starting to feel comfortable. However a little later, I recognized it as something different. It was more a belief that if I could keep myself busy and everything organized I could rid myself of all homesickness and stress of the trip. That, I realized, was not true. There will always be moments of homesickness, stress, or even boredom. Getting distracted by planning how to avoid them instead of accepting the fact will actually make those moments worse as they will take you by surprise. In addition, at home I am constantly busy, but my life is also constantly changing. I don’t have a perfectly set routine, and I like it that way. That fact will not change in another country. As much as I like my thoughts to be organized I do not like routine.

The Present: Welcome to the present, or as I lie to call it my goldilocks balance. Of course I don't have everything figured out. I have problems with school, I miss home, I don’t always agree wth my host family, but I have learned to accept all of these things with an open mind. I can’t stay in the mindset that “everything in America is better. I want to go home” and I also can’t try to schedule, do, and learn everything at once. I need to accept each new day with an open mind. 

As I was talking about at recreo with some friends the other day. Sometimes it is important to live in the here and now without trying to make perfect sense of things. I’m sure I will learn more on this amazing journey but I am also sure it will be easier in my new mindset.

-Siena the Confused Temporary Spaniard 

PS: Morocco Blog coming soon