april 2007 story contest winner

Congratulations!

Dane Skinner
Teach in Thailand

"The Realities of Teaching"

Finding yourself lost in any situation can be troubling, for the prospect of being lost doesn’t just imply uncertainty regarding surroundings, but also an uncertainty regarding the result of the situation. Perhaps that is why being lost in a classroom is that much more perplexing to the person standing up in front of it. Are the surroundings that muddling? Well, yes, because they are certainly new and unusual, but the classroom itself is in a location completely known. Thailand. That much is certainly known. I have the airline stubs and bus tickets to prove it. So how can I be lost in place when I know where I am?

Perhaps it is because of the army sitting and plotting in front of me. A group of adolescents whose noses are tingling with the scent of something fresh, of something new. Their eyes reveal suspicion; their tongues reveal an attitude reserved for the foreigner. Thai teachers command respect through years of dominant presence. I have mere moments to establish myself as the one with control. Some listen, some don’t. I didn’t understand then that I can’t worry about such a reality, for reaching everyone is simply not a possibility, no matter how you slice it.

So, as with most struggles, the preparation for teaching covers about ten percent of what I would call the reality of teaching.

Teaching is just a word, the reality is much tougher. But the struggle is possibly the best teacher of all, and not just for the students, but for me as well. It was after those first few weeks that I realized that I wasn’t struggling against the students who didn’t want to learn, I was instead struggling with the students who did want to learn. The ones who wanted to bridge the language gap and gain a better understanding of the ridiculous symphony known as the English language. The ones who elected to sit for 50 minutes and listen to my simple lessons instead of lighting fires, talking on a cell-phone, or choosing to sleep.

Struggles and safety aside, stories of being lost usually end with uncertainty giving way to familiarity and discovery, and mine shall prove to be no different. From a quagmire of unknown possibilities came an intimacy with certain realities. The realities came in a bundle of three, one right after the other.

One: No amount of preparation will convey what it’s like to stand in front of 60 Thai children and try to teach them English. The only way to ever know what it is like is to stand up there yourself and do it. It’s that simple.

Two: Yes, there will be surprises. Surprises like fires set by kids in the classroom, fireworks exploding in the halls, and kratoeys using the limp wrist while calling each other girls. Surprises like an eleven year girl asking in perfect English where you come from and what you think of Thailand.

And Three: Well, I guess you will have to find out for yourself.